Stillbirth – My Personal Journey of Loss, Silence, and Strength

Losing a baby to stillbirth is one of the hardest things a parent can face.

The grief can feel overwhelming, but with the right support, healing is possible. I want to share my own stillbirth story, offering guidance and compassion for parents who are grieving.

My Own Experience

The pain of losing a child is beyond words and changes your life forever. I’m sharing my story not for sympathy, but to help others feel less alone in their grief.

In April, during the Easter Bank Holiday weekend, I gave birth at home to my stillborn baby after doctors repeatedly dismissed my concerns. I had daily bleeding throughout my pregnancy and visited the hospital many times, but was always told things were fine. Even when I was hospitalised with infections and bedridden by complications, my worries were brushed aside.

On Friday the 13th, which was Good Friday, I woke up for the first time in months without bleeding overnight. I hoped things were improving. But that morning, I was overcome by pain and delivered my baby at home. Afterwards, I faced silence, negligence, and a lack of accountability from the hospital.

We drove 45 minutes to the hospital that had sent me home just the day before, with my husband and our three other children. The hospital promised an autopsy and said we would get answers. Instead, we faced delays, excuses, and months of silence. The chaplain called every week, confused by the ongoing delays. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said.

We were not allowed to bury our child until July, three months later. The hospital said they lost reports, refused to share the autopsy results, and even kept the gender of our baby from us. I hadn’t looked when we wrapped the baby, and now I will never have that chance again.

I believe the truth was kept from us. Years later, my daughter, who was only one at the time, was diagnosed with a rare and serious bleeding disorder that took four years to identify. I think the information in that report could have changed her diagnosis and care.

In the months after losing my baby, I grieved quietly. Sometimes I would break down in tears, unable to explain the sudden waves of sadness that came over me. There were no words, only heartbreak.

Even now, I wonder who our baby might have become. There is always a space in our family that feels incomplete. We miss a quiet presence, a name we never knew, and a love we will never forget.

Why I Share This

People don’t talk about stillbirth enough. Too often, parents are left to grieve without closure, support, or recognition for how profound their loss is.

I’m sharing my story to show both the pain of stillbirth and the different ways it can be handled.

If you are facing something similar, please remember that you are not alone. Your grief is real, and your story matters.

🕊️ Your healing can start by being heard. If you feel ready, you can look at my free self-help guides, workshops, journals, & courses, or contact me for one-to-one support.